Thank you. I have to teach my boys about white privilege because they aren't white. My husband has had loaded guns to his body- by police officers for "mistaken identity" - he's Black. Never did they apologize. My oldest son- super easy going and resilient- got in a fist fight because he got fed up with the racial slurs at school, which he told several adults about- he was told he should apologize for using his fists instead of his words. Could these things happen to others? Sure. Do they? Not as much as non-white people. The comment about the teen being pregnant is called a "microaggression" and over time they build up and tear down a person's spirit.

Jodene, I'll have to teach my two boys about it, too, and I dread that more than any other aspect of parenting. At 2 and 4, they've been sheltered from these kinds of negative experiences, enjoying a loving world in their wonderful home day care, church and home. But my older boy will start school in the fall ...

Hi, Shelly. My race is white, but my background is Hispanic. I speak Spanish, dance cumbias, salsa, and country. I like Hispanic food, watch Telemundo, Mun2, TBS, and NBC, etc. But I look totally White. There is no problem or offense in my home country, a latin country, to refer to anyone by his skin color (White, Brown, Yellow, Black). I have been called things like, "hey, Whitey, what would you like to order?" (rough translation). At a fast food place in my home country, and as a regular, coloquial, part of a conversation. Maybe because the demographics are more widespread down there? I have had no problems here to be friends with people from many other races and backgrounds; but with the customs, I have decided not to use distinctive race denominations in any conversation as I see the effect words like the above have on American people in general. I have a brother who doesn't look as White as I do, who lives in another U.S. city, and he has been pulled over on his way to work as an independent contractor twice to check his van to have the police officers check him and his co-workers for "drugs", with no results, and no apologies... I have baby boy and I can't wait to start thinking what will happen when he starts going to school too...Just a thought.

 

Hello,

I wanted to comment on this a some things that were said in this blog. First of all I am a 29 year old Hispanic mother of two and was born and raised in Lubbock but have relocated to Del Rio, Texas. I came across this blog by looking at lubboconline.com. I know that you were just giving examples of everyday life that us Hispanics have to endure compared to white people. But what bothered me most is when you said those who are different from us."

What makes us Hispanics so different from you? In your previous blog we are all the same in God's eyes no matter what color, shape, male, female. But know we are different? Yes, it is true that white privileges do exists but for some of us Hispanics that is what fuels us. We know that we can endure so much and accomplish whatever goals we set compared to a white person who just may be handed everything to them.  I know that you are trying to give an explantion in this blog and you mean well it just kinda sounds bad. But thank you for putting this subject out there. Racism does exits and at the end of the day we all have feelings and need to love one anothor no matter what skin color.

Well written. Very, very well written. And so very full of truth. "Trust Life's unfolding..."

someone has worked HARD to have the privileges they have. They have earned them. Don't discount this because you are married to a Hispanic and someone is down on them.   Hispanics and Black have earned their places in life, good and bad, (alot of bad) so don't downplay the white priviliges.  I am proud of the priviliges that have been EARNED.  Sometimes you just have to get a job and work hard as our parents have done, and instill that same virtue in your kids.

Paisley, you mean hard as when all the colonizers came from Europe to kill the Native Americans and enslave them along with the Africans to work for them for free, just because the first had the latest technologies of the time (privileges)? Those slaves and victims, I think, were the ones that worked the hardest, and believe me, the privileged ones still remain being the White.

Paisley,

What privileges have you earned besides being ignorant! Every race has bad seeds that does not mean that all white people deserved the privileges that been GIVEN to them! What is that going to teach your kids? I can hear it now " oh that is ok honey you are a white privileged child!" 

I think it takes a lot of courage to point these differences out and to recognize they exist. The more you wake people up to what's going on, the better. As far as i'm concerned. Thank you for the post.

Stephanie Davis Smith

National Web Editor of skirt.com

Nicely stated.  I still remember the discussion in sociology about the studies regarding things such as mortgage applications, during which a traditionally white name and traditionally black name were used with the same financial standings with the white names being approved in greater numbers.  We are still far from being a colorblind society.

Thank you so much for the article. I am African American Educator. I learned early in life that many things including life are not fair or equal. However, I have chosen not to let circumstances hamper my goals or achievement. In reference to paisley's comment about earned places in life. Many times in life we have to make choices (good or bad). However, you shouldn't lump everyone into the same category. My son is a model student who was recently was honored with the privilege of being an Eagle Scout. Despite the good things in his life, he has to realize that as a black male he has to carry himself in a different manner than his peers. When he starts to driving on his own, he must be aware of the fact that sometimes police officers will follow you for several blocks or at least until they have run your license plate. When he gets pulled over he must be prepared for anything including being taken in or searched without cause. When he walks through the mall he has to pay attention to the security officer that is following him around because he fits the profile. He cannot dismiss any of the things that you might, because if he does he could find himself in a very bad situation. Has he earned this place in life? No, but he has to deal with the cards he has been given. If there was anything in this life that I could change for my son, it would be the stigma that has been placed upon him by people like you. Your remarks are a prime example as to why many people don't earn their place in life. Instead they are given a spot an expected to remain there

Great post. Very thought provoking. I've been struggling the last couple of days with my 3 year old boy that for some reason refuses to do certain things by saying, "no, I'm not a girl." He says it with such disgust that it makes me wonder where on earth is he getting this from? I keep asking him, what's wrong with being a girl? He just shakes his head at me like I don't understand. At such young ages our kids are exposed to people outside of our control that point out differences that privilege one person over another. Sometimes I think it's become so subtle or has become inherent to our surroundings that we stop questioning it.

Why do you think the Blacks and Hispanics are in this situation.  It is because they have PUT THEMSELVES in it.

Look at the prison population.  What did we do to put them there????? I believe it is their lack of dicipline (and you can blame the parents or lack of parents for that.  So who is to blame?????   My grandparents never owned a slave, my parents never owned them, so we suffer from it.  Always the rasism issue.  You get what you work for, nobody handed me anything, I have worked for everything I have and so have my kids, so don't pull the white privilege thing here.    We don't trust most of them, because they have caused it themselves.   Look at all the murders and stabbings,  what race are they????

RETRO REVA 

i usually don't get involved with heated issues as i have the need to be "liked"-but i couldn't sit on the sideline of this discussion.  it is a fact that our instincts and impressions about EVERYTHING are created  as children. WE see-therefore WE learn. the learning process comes from what is "downloaded" into our thoughts, whether  from family, outside inviromental influences, or our OWN experiences. My nephew is "black", my niece is "white". their 2 beautiful boys are "mixed" as my family puts it. i learned the N word by the time i could talk-and  regrettably used it out of ignorance many times.  as i grew into myself and realized that i could choose my ideals, i vowed not to spread racism. it is a virus. it is spread by ignorance. and for me the "cure" isn't a band-aid. it's  a shot of education. if i haven't walked a mile in someone elses shoes, how can i know what they feel? i can learn from others. i have learned thus far that judging someone simply by looking at them is stupid! maybe if we were all suddenly struck blind, or we were all suddenly turned inside-out, the issue would disappear, but in reality, i can only "judge" my own thoughts and actions. this applies to feminism, disabilities, religious views and countless other situations. I own my thoughts now-no one else does.

   My family takes people as they are---and we are friends with people we like--we don't care what they look like, live in or wear or sleep with.  But being white  middle class american people can be annoying in itself.  Very often I find my self saying, "we aren't racist, ya' know, we're just white."

But  recently my teenage son  and I got to experience some white privilege.  This man, a doctor, felt comfortable enough to make a comment about the way my son was dressed.  Packaging his comment as "Fatherly advice" on first impressions and fully offending me and my son.  This Doctor, told my son his choice of clothes gave the impression that he was from a certain neighborhood--and he warned my son that he didn't want to give that impression.  We endured it politely, but he just wouldn't shut up.  He kept saying to me, "you know what I'm saying about people from that neighborhood, right?"  I said, "yes, I understand what you are saying, you have a problem with people from that neighborhood."  He pushed it again, warning us that it was a bad idea to give the impression that we were from that neighborhood. Finally, I told the doctor that my mother was from that very same neighborhood he was warning us about--because she is. 

My son did learn a very good lesson about first impressions that day. I asked what his impression of the doctor was.  His answer:  "that he's a racist prone to stero-types and he judges people on how they dress."  I told my son, that the doctor only said that to us, because we are white.  "If we were black, would he tell you to pull your pants up so we couldn't see your boxers?  No.  Do you think he was giving fashion advice to the Hispanic family behind us?"  I doubt it.  So sometimes, I find that white privilege isn't much of a gift.  --great post on ignorance. thanks.

I've written a follow-ups to this blog: http://lubbock.skirt.com/lucky-mama/blog/lets-advance-embracing-diversit...