Ever since I stopped dancing when I was 9, I’ve been big.  I take after my dad’s side of the family so I’m 5’10” anyway on a European frame. (Likes to hold some meat to prevent freezing.)  Thankfully this allows me to carry extra pounds better, but there’s no hiding my stomach which is my least favorite thing about myself.  I can play it off that having kids did this to me, but I’ve always had a roll of fat between my belly button and my pubic bone. The c-section didn’t help, but it didn’t hurt it much either.

I’m usually in some state of eating less, doing more which has ebbed and flowed through the years.  I get inspired by a picture of me, an outfit I’d like to wear, an embarrassing incident, and other people.  This time it’s other people.  To be specific, Josh Peck.

If you’ve got a tween living with you, that is someone between preschool and teen years, most likely you know of whom I speak.  Josh of  Nickelodeon’s Drake & Josh.  Uh huh, him.  And so now you’re asking yourself why in the world does this butterball kid have a new fire under your butt?

Hubs and I had been watching the show and noticed that Josh was starting to thin out.  It looked good. Definitely healthier and makes a good statement for the fans of the show who fight their own weight issues.  Well, iCarly had her first TV movie that premiered Friday night and in the middle of it was a sneak preview for Drake & Josh’s Christmas Special.  Drake had always been the ladies man, hunky hunk of the show but as the frame came up, I felt myself wanting to do things to the Italian hunk sitting next to him.  I’ll admit, it felt pretty damn wrong of me since this is a kid my kids enjoy watching.  I had to do repeated double takes to realize the hunk was Josh!  Uh huh. Butterball, doofy Josh had done some hard core work!  Thankfully in doing some research on this piece, I learned that Josh is actually 22 so at least that removed some of the cradle robber feelings I was having- now I’m just a cougar.  But look at this and tell me if you can blame me!

I think the only way I know that this is the same Josh and not some Milli Vanilli-esque stand in is because those warm, smiling eyes are the same. Makes it all the worse because those funny, laughing eyes are now set in a smoldering, sexily unkempt face that leaves me wanting to put Tiger Beat in my cart the next time I meander through Target.

It has me thinking. What would happen if I got really serious about my weight?  A couple years ago when my Y opened and I was telling a friend that I was going to be getting serious there, her husband said “If you lose some weight, your husband is going to have to get a gun permit!”  May have been a backhanded compliment, but I knew what he meant and was it’s stayed with me. 

So yeah, what if I lost the extra fat that is undoubtedly hiding muscular thighs?  Sadly, at 35 I’d most likely need a body lift to find that body, but if I do the work, I’m fine with getting some help.  I have a friend who lost 90 lbs and kept it off for 7 years when she finally decided to get a tummy tuck.  Her plastic surgeon felt her boobs and told her she’s got b cup breast tissue and d cup skin which he could take care of. She demurely declined noting that her boobs had once been ee’s so she was happy being a saggy d.  Screw that!  If I’m going to find my body and learn that it hasn’t got a lot underneath, I’ll help those babies out. 

I wonder if Josh will wait a year for me to get this off. If he can wait 2 years, I’ll get the reconstructive stuff done and we can have Perez Hilton buzzing about the cougar who was spotted putting drinks on Josh’s tab all night. 

Enjoy!
Renée